Editor's note:
Sarah Nettleton currently attends 6th grade at Martha Brown Middle School in Fairport, NY. She has a full-time aide who facilitates with her, one of several who have supported her over the past five years. Sarah now types a few words independently; on most occasions, however, she is supported at the elbow or forearm.

At the time she describes in this essay, Sarah attended a BOCES center-based special education program. Since 3rd grade, she has attended neighborhood schools. Her current major interests are "canoeing, whales, and Girl Scouts."

October 24, 1991 was a beautiful Fall day. It was Vollmer School picture day. I wore my new plaid flannel dress. We smiled for the camera before lunch. The afternoon would be a challenge that would change my life forever.

I was six years old. It was very hard for me to communicate. I could sign a few words, but my fingers didn't work very well. I had a communication book, but it was very hard to work the pages. I was not able to talk with my voice. When I needed to tell someone something, I pointed to objects. I also communicated by crying. It was very frustrating.

People who can talk have no idea how it feels to be unable to talk with your voice. Not being able to speak is like never being able to communicate beyond baby talk. The hardest part was not being able to answer people when they asked me questions. I was not able to ask any questions. I was not able to tell people when I was sick. It was awful not being able to speak. My challenge was to realize that I could communicate.

Miss Shelly was my classroom teacher. It was my second year in her class. I liked her very much. She made us work very hard. I liked her because she taught us regular school work like math and reading, and not just life skills. She believed in us.

Mis Shelly was a teacher who tried new ideas. She worked hard to help us be successful at school work and independence. Miss Shelly went along with some speech therapists to a conference at Syracuse University. I didn't know that what she would learn there would change my life.

The conference taught Miss Shelley about FC or facilitated communication. FC is a method of communiucation that helps people who can't talk with their voice. This new way of communicating would open a whole new world for me.

This is what happened.

The class went to music. Miss Shelley told me to sit down at the rectangular table. I didn't know what we were going to do. The rectangular table was where we did our work. Miss Shelley talked to me about a new way to speak called FC. I listened to what she said. I didn't know what to think. I had not been able to communicate very well any other way. I thought this was worth a try.

Miss Shelley had her electric typewriter. She said she would hold my hand and steady it while I typed. The next thing she would do was pull my hand back after I typed a letter. This was very important. I needed my hand pulled back to find the next letter. She said we would start with easy questions. It was best to start with easy ones because you can learn the technique, and not worry about answering hard questions. We started working.

Mis Shelley asked, "What's your name?" I typed "sarah." She asked, "Are you wearing a dress?" I typed "yes." She asked, "Is your dress red?" I typed "ddrressssgggggg." My dress was red plaid. I was typing. Miss Shelley asked, "What day is Brownies?" I answered "frjday." Then she asked, "Is Rebeka your friend?" I typed "yes." Rebeka and I had been friends for a long time.

I loved this talking!!! She asked, "Do you want to talk or go to music?" I typed "bbnkk."At this point, I realized I could do this. I gave Miss Shelley a bg tight hug. I started crying. Tears of joy fell on my face. I cried more.

Miss Shelley asked, "Do you want to stop talking?" I typed "nk." I did not want to ever stop talking.

We played some simple word games. She showed me a picture in a book, and asked "What color was it?" I answered, "tgreeb." It was green. She asked, "What day is it?" I typed "thursdddddda." I typed "bbbggg." She asked if I wanted to talk or go to music. I typed "nuud9c" I was ready to go to music. Talking by typing was hard work. I was so glad I could do it!

The afternoon ended with me going to music, and Miss Shelley helping someone else. I was exhausted from typing and the emotions that went with realizing I could do this. It was hard to be excited and scared simultaneously. Communicating was wonderful. My years of silence would be over. What a joy it was to communicate. I had found a way to talk by spelling. I could finally talk.

It has been five years since I learned facilitated communication. Spelling has become my way of speaking. People wonder if I am typing or if someone moves my hand. I am doing the typing. The feeling of being able to communicate is wonderful. It is very tiring to type every word evbery day. Spelling all the time makes me a good speller. I get frustrated when people think that when you can't talk with your voice that you are retarded. People have no idea how frustrating it is not to be abler to talk with your voice. FC has given me a voice, even if it is through my finger. It is wonderful to talk with FC.